CONFLICTED

Last weekend I went to a hospital for medical check up. I am supposed to follow several procedures like blood test, urine test, thorax, and many more. About 3 months ago, I had medical check up as an employment procedure. I did all those things too. To my knowledge (also based on most people say), I can’t do thorax twice in 6 months timeframe. So, I came to the doctor and said that I couldn’t do thorax as I already did it within last 3 months. Doctor asked me who told me that and forced me to do thorax again. I resisted and am a bit angry at her. I thought as a doctor, she didn’t think of my safety and health. This doctor must be crazy. At least, that is what I had in mind at the time. But the doctor insisted, she said that she won’t analyze all my medical check up if I didn’t take thorax. She even asked me to go to another hospital if I refused to do it. Finally she asked me this question,”Who told you that it is dangerous? Is it someone from here? Why don’t you ask me why I think it is not dangerous?”. When she said that, I stop talking and suddenly there’s a thought running in my head. I picked the hospital myself, I picked the doctor. I have a free will and I picked her and this hospital. So this hospital and the doctor must be good. Therefore, I have to trust them. I am not the doctor. She’s the doctor. She knows better than me.

What I learned from this experience is that we actually treat our God this way every day. I believe each and every one of you takes some time in the morning just to pray and surrender everything to God. You surrender your life, your job, your business, your family, and every single thing that you care the most. Yet, you are still worried about everything. For instance, suppose that your project which is important for your career is behind schedule. You would be anxious. You’d think you already ruined your career life because you think this project is the only way to get the promotion. See?! Who’s the God now? Every time you did your best and surrender it to God, be relaxed and have faith in God. He knows what to do with your life way much better than you do.

I didn’t say that you stop doing anything and start praying only. I say you do what you have to do and surrender it to God, and let God do the rest. You don’t have to do something which isn’t your part. Surrendering it yet getting worried about it is like telling God not to intervene in our life. So, what’s the point of surrender? It’s like the story I told you up there. The doctor knows better how to get a good analysis on my medical check up which is to also get the thorax examination. But, I refused to do that. It is conflicted. I chose her to examine my health yet I don’t trust her fully.

So, fellow readers, let’s not get conflicted in things we do. When you surrender everything to God, make sure you really do that in your real life. I hope it’s not just part of prayer you should say or ask to God. He is more than happy to take control of your life if you let Him.

God bless.

Irony of Christmas 2010

I believe that we had a very good Christmas last week. I refer to series of Christmas parties on different places, different host, and different messages. Those celebrations have planted a typical paradigm of Christmas for all of us. If there’s a question popped up regarding what Christmas is, then most people would come up with idea of celebration, Santa Claus and gifts/presents, or something similar with those things.

Well, I didn’t say it’s wrong. Christmas is a reminder of the day when God gave His only Son for sinful people, for us. So Christmas is just like a birthday. The difference is this birthday belongs to someone mighty and holy. So, celebration is one of the ways to relive Christmas. But, deeper than that, we're still missing something about Christmas. It’s ‘giving’ and ‘love’. I will elaborate these in my next paragraph.

Christmas talks about God giving his only Son for earth. Earth represents sin while God is holy. Not only God GAVE His only Son, but also He gave away something precious of HIS like His Throne, His Holy Place. As you see, God gave something and that something is priceless.

Knowing that God gave His precious for us, we might wonder why He did that. The one and only reason He did this is because He’s too in love with us. He loves us. I would understand if your logic would take more time to digest upon reading my last statement. You can’t just give away your valuable one because of love. But, that’s the fact. I won’t go any further discussing this irrational love. Let’s assume you understand this.

Concluding what’s mentioned above, Christmas is about giving your valuables one for those who’s in need as a manifestation of loving them. So, if you really want to relive the spirit of Christmas in present day, all you have to do is just to love others. That means to give something valuable to people who are in need. Of course, practice could be done in many ways, like throwing Christmas party for needed, or visiting orphanage, or simply sitting down with people you love the most and do a quality time. Whichever way you choose, as long as it’s done because of your love, you’re reliving spirit of Christmas.

Merry Christmas 2010! God bless.

Concept of Dream

“Do you have a dream?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Are you making progress to get it?”

“Err, maybe.”

It’s no longer a secret that people tend to have dream. Moreover, people are encouraged to have dream in our life. When I say dream, I was talking about a broad definition of dream. It could be dream as in ambition, expectation, etc. We simply can define it as a change of situation/condition into a better one.

I still remember the day when I was a cute child (no objection, please), people kept asking what my ambition was. What was my dream? Of course, I came up with a typical childhood dream such as doctor, president, superman, etc. Parents will usually be very happy knowing their child is having a dream. A good one. Not only that, success stories of people who get the success because they have dream are quite popular these days.

Well, not that I hate dreaming or expecting something good to happen. It is more that people forgot something when they talked about dream. Action (or should I say ‘consistent action’) wasn’t put into the equation. I, personally, think that this is wrong. It can be deceiving. People tend to focus merely on result, which is their dream. While, they forgot that in order to achieve the result, they need to do the right process. Still don’t get the point?

For instance, suppose I had a very big authority to help everyone to get their dream. Then, I go to a place where bad guys exist. I asked them “What is your dream?” They told me that they want to be a rich man with an authority like government. Then I said, “You got it. From now on, I appoint you as a governor in Jakarta.” Technically speaking, he’s got his dream. But, in no time, he’ll misuse the authority and start ruin everything; includes his own dream. What was wrong? I changed his situation. I made him reaching his dream. I made everything better for him. I give him a big event in his milestone of life. Yeah, I change everything for him! But I forget to change him! The character, the person is what I missed to change! He, physically, has been a governor. But, he’s got no governor mindset/characters. That is why he failed me.

Apparently, people tend to like event in his life. You can count how many people consider wedding, job promotion, winning a lottery, elected as a governor, etc are dream-become-true events. They are numbers. They are very happy when it happens. But, let me tell you something. It won’t last if they don’t maintain the event. Repeat the event. It’s not like throwing a wedding party every day that I’m talking about, it’s about loving your wife/husband just as much as you love him/her in your wedding day. Let’s see another example. You get promoted. For me, it’s only an event that won’t last long if you won’t work it out. You have to keep performing just like the day you be promoted. Do you see where I’m going with this? Dream could be less interesting than you think.

An everlasting dream requires action and that action needs to be done persistently and consistently. An instant dream would lead to another failure in your life because you might not be ready for it. When you have a dream, prepare yourself properly. See what’s needed to become that man in your dream. I didn’t guarantee that you’ll get your dream by doing this. But, if by any chance you got it, you’ll be ready physically and mentally (characters). You will use it wisely and it’ll last forever. Or, even if you can’t get your dream, believe me that you have already been someone else’s dream for everything you do to others. Because they’re not too blind to see that a better character lives in you. Nothing to lose, right?

Let me know what you think. This idea is flashing in my mind. I am afraid I lose it so I do some quick writing to wrap up in this blog. So it may be confusing for you. Just let me know which part confuse you. Let's discuss.

H.A.L.T

I was accompanying my friend to a bank. He planned to apply a credit card. He’s so new with the process that he asked so many things. Right there, he was assigned to a marketing guy. Based on the conversation they had, I presumed that the marketing guy was an impatient man. I could tell from the way he explained the process. Wait! He didn’t explain anything. He was bubbling angrily by using the banking language. That’s what I heard. Of course, we all know that the customer with lots of questions and the impatient marketer wasn’t a good combination. My friend felt like he wasn’t treated properly as a customer. So, he turned down the application.

What’s the root causes? It’s simply because of the anger or temper or … can we simply say ‘losing control’?

Losing control of ourselves could possibly lead to something bad. Well, it resulted that way most of the time. I like one of my friend’s timeline on Twitter. It says, ”Reasons why you don’t let your anger off in public are you might be not right and instead of solving the problem, you will blow it up.” So, we can conclude that losing control of ourselves is not beneficial.

Well, some of us would think that talk is cheap. Yeah, I know. Let’s try to figure out how to make it easier to avoid losing control. We probably can start from the symptoms. I myself define the situation that people tend to lose control. It’s HALT. What’s HALT? Halt (in English) shares the same meanings with ‘to stop’. In Bahasa, we have Halte Bus (which I believe halte is adopted from halt). Halte Bus is bus stop. In short, when we get HALT, it means we have to stop. That’s simple.

Okay, what does HALT stand for? They are Hunger, Anger, Lose, and Tired. Hmm, I don’t think it’s necessary to give illustrations of people that are in those symptoms. I believe that you’ve experienced it by yourselves. What should we do when it comes? These are the conditions we should stop. I mean, we must stop! Halt means we have to think before we act, but if we don’t want to think, shut up. It’s simple. When we start feeling those symptoms (like hungry, angry, tired or lost), shut up and think. By doing that, we won’t lose control and won’t let it off.

I am about to conclude. So if you’re thinking that you got a problem with temper, you’ve got the answers already, fellow. Please pay attention on those symptoms. When you feel those and then HALT! Remember, let the anger off in public is not beneficial. First, you may be not right. Second, instead of solving the problems, you’ll blow it up. To top it off, you will make a good relationship with others. Hey, that counts for me!

I guess this is just another frantic thought of mine.

Thought of Hope

There’s news that attracts me a month ago. It was about a mother whose son was buried under the ruins of building after earthquake in Haiti. The news stated that this lady was not giving up hope on her child’s life and somehow the child be found safely. The word to which I was attracted is HOPE.

Why ‘hope’? What’s so special about it? If we try broadening the thinking, then we’ll find that hope is everywhere; in everything we do. Let’s take example. We hope getting better reimbursement while we work hard for a company. Students hope entering the good university while they study hard in High School. Basketball Team hopes winning the championship while they sweat a lot during practice hours. Those hopes give them strength. It’s the only reasons why they keep doing the hard work, hard study, practice, etc.

Looking at the fact above, it's quite sensible if some said losing hope is dangerous. One could be so skeptic, pessimistic or even, ready to die. We can find example easily on this, let's say suicide by jumping off the building. They must be losing their hope on something. It could be love, future (as in jobs/career) or whatever. So if we don’t want to be like that, we shouldn’t give up hope. That’s the logic.

Wait! We’re not there yet. If I were asked not to giving up hope, I would prefer not to do it. You know why? I don't want my happiness and how I react be determined by something unreal. Why something unreal? Because, in my opinion, hope is just a perception created by each one of us. It’s in our mind. Why would we create it? Simply, it's to make we feel that our life is better and NOT to make our life better. I think this explains why we would kill ourselves if we lose this. We, basically, don’t feel that our life is good. And that 'feeling' makes you kill yourself. We're idiots.

To make my point clearer, let me give you an illustration. Hope is like a ship that is floating with an anchor cling to something invisible beneath the water. We don’t know if it clings well or not because we can’t see it. And here are the cases. First case, if we think that the anchor doesn’t cling well and the ship is bit shaken, we’ll probably leave the ship by jumping off it. Second case, if we perceive that anchor clings to something robust, we’ll stay and enjoy our time aboard. But the fact is we never know which one is right. We can’t see the anchor, can we?

See? Our mind is playing trick. We never know what happened to the anchor down there. The worst part is we determine our hope based on the situation. In that example, our perception is built based on how stable the ship floats. We stop working hard when we know that new recruit is adored by our bosses better than us. We stop studying when we know that only top 10 students will enter the good university while we are in 11^th at that day. But in fact, we never know what will happen in the future. Still, we believe in our hope, our perception. We really make it up.

We have a religion, don’t we? Or at least we believe that there’s a greater power than human being, don’t we? If so, just surrender every single thing to God! Nothing ever happened to us but everything did happen for us. It’s called ‘faith’. Faith doesn’t expect certain result, like a good one. It make us believe that every result either good or bad happen for us,. Yeah for our own good.

What about the mother I mentioned earlier? Maybe, just maybe, if the mother would have lost her son, I’m pretty sure that she won’t be disappointed. As she said to the newspaper,”Somehow, I know that he has the special God.” Well, she didn’t hope. She’s just having faith in God. And that’s different. What a frantic thinking!

Hey, let me know what you're thinking. :)

Adolf, Benn

Learning of Relationship

I know that Valentine is over. But it doesn’t stop me to write about relationship. Okay, I’m not that old or full of relationship experiences, I just want to share what I learned. That’s all. Before we proceed, I probably need to define what I mean with relationship here. I’m not only talking about you and your girlfriend. It could be you and your family, you and your friend, etc. Okay! I think I already covered all disclaimers.

1. Relationship is just like having a car. When you decided to buy it, you’ve got responsibility to take care of it.
This is rule number one. If you’ve got your hands full of something else, then don’t buy it. You will make it into untreated. Taking care means you have to spare sometime to talk to them, you have to spare some resources you have to help them (sometimes). So if you don’t want to do those things, forget about relationship. You’re not ready yet.

2. You can’t make someone love you. What you only can do is to be someone who can be loved. The rest of it is up to them.
It’s logic. You can control your behavior, your attitude, yourself. While you can’t control someone’s. Don’t bother with the result! When you did your best, your part is done. The rest is only a matter of someone’s choices.

3. Just because they don’t love you the way you want to be loved doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all of their heart.
The point is different head leads to different way. You can’t force people to do something like the way you do it. I got example for this. You like them to be beside you every time. But in fact, they can really care about you although they’re not beside you every time. So don’t get in to fight when you found the incompatibility. What counts in a relationship isn’t how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility.

4. Assumption is the termite of any relationship.
Stop saying “I thought you will be home late.” “I thought you will know what I want”. “I thought…” Wow, you didn’t expect your partner‘s paranormal, did you? If it comes to hesitation, then you ask them. Don’t guess, but test.

5. Relationship is not about love but to love.
Love’s often associated as noun instead of verb. People focus on the result of loving, such as marriage. Whilst, the success of love is in ‘loving’ not in the result of it. This point is a bit similar with point number 1 except this point emphasize on verb; as in to love.

6. A relationship should consist of good forgivers.
Human errs. Being a good forgiver will keep the relationship last longer. So then you won’t waste your time fighting the small things.

That’s all I got. That’s what I learned from the past 2 years. I know 2 years won’t be adequate to be an expertise of relationship. But I believe it’ll help someone out there somehow. You can agree or disagree. It doesn’t matter. The goal of this posting is just like relationship; it isn’t to think alike but to think together. So, you’re more than welcome to share yours.

See you at the top, fellow!

Adolf, Benn

July 07, 2009

A for adoring
adoring: yang mengagumkan, yang dicintai. Dengan kata ini, aku ingin menunjukkan bahwa aku gak pernah berhenti meyakinkan diriku apakah aku benar2 jadi pasangan nya gadis cantik ini. Sampai sekarang pun, aku masih sering tidak percaya. Dia yang selalu dikagumi dan dicintai kini berdiri di sampingku dan menggenggam tanganku? ini pasti mimpi!

R for recourse of mine
recourse: perlindungan, pertolongan. Akhirnya, aku baru tahu bahwa ada pelukan yang benar2 menenangkan. Aku seakan terlindungi saat aku memeluk tubuhnya. Nafasku kembali teratur dan aku mulai berpikir tenang. Dekapannya seakan berbisik "I'm here for you" dan saat itu aku sadar aku tidak lagi sendiri. tidak lagi sendiri?! Ini mungkin mimpi ku yang kedua!

V for vulnerable but reliable
vulnerable: mudah terserang (sec. perasaan). Kata-kata ini ingin menunjukkan betapa paradoksnya wanita ini. Dia bukan manusia sempurna yang mampu menahan semua beban di pundaknya. Dia rapuh, tetapi dia bukan pengeluh. Dia defensive, tapi dia penurut. Dia cuek, tapi dia punya semua perhatian di tangannya. Dia terlalu paradoks. Tapi itulah dia.


Cuma 3 huruf yang aku bisa jelaskan tentang apa yang kurasakan kepada wanita ini. Bukan karena ku terlalu sedikit mengenalnya, tapi justru karena aku terlalu mengenalnya. Aku bahkan tidak tahu apakah aku punya kosakata yang cukup buat menggambarkan kesempurnaan wanita ini.

Hari ini, wanita ini merayakan ulang tahunnya yang ke 22. Hari ulang tahun kali ini terasa beda dari tahun sebelumnya, karena kali ini dia sudah memiliki ST yang mengikuti namanya. Sarjana Teknik! Lihat?! Kesempurnaan itu tidak berhenti. Ia tetap mencari dan menyempurnakan dirinya. Masa depan yang menjanjikan tinggal menunggu waktu. Kerja, S2 atau membentu keluarga? semua ada di tangannya.

Aku hanya akan berdoa untuknya. Menikmati indahnya dari sisi gelapku. Melihat ia tumbuh merangkai kepingan hidupnya serta berharap ada aku di kepingan itu. Yah, berharap mimpi ini jadi kenyataan.

Aku lupa memberi tahu, nama wanita itu adalah Arviani, byk orang memanggilnya A.R.V.I. Hm,, sepertinya aku masih punya I untuknya.

I for I LOVE ARVI. Walau aku tidak pernah merasa pantas (setidaknya sampai hari ini) buat dia, I just Love her.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ARVIANI MANAHERA!
POSTED IN the-better-life.blogspot.com

copyright (C) 2009. Adolf Corp.

Can Money Buy Happiness? (Based on scientific research)

What am I thinking now?

I should finish my final assignment, and then I will find a job. Since I will graduate from the well-known university, I deserve the well-paid job.

Wait a sec! What is the money for?

I don't know. It probably can give happiness to me. I can afford many things.

So, are you telling me that money can buy happiness?

A short conversation above was really happening in my mind. I didn't know the answer. And somehow, I just believed that kind of situation happens to you too, fellow readers. So I did a little dig on what promotes happiness the most. And then, I come up with this. Let's check it out.

Elizabeth W. Dunn, associate professor of University of British Columbia majoring Psychology, said that she won't surprise if people who did something for others would promote more happiness than people who didn't. But she surprised when she found out how big the positive impact of spending money on others to promote happiness. And of course, it has nothing to do with the amount of money you have. "This research shows that little change of ways in spending money will make us feel a different way of happiness", said Dunn via phone-interview session. It doesn't mean that we should have a huge salary and then we give them for others. No, it is not like that! The point is just to give what you have for others, and do it in your ways! Dunn added,"Nothing's special about the money! The most important things are your time and your involvement to help others."

Here is how the research were conducted. This research initiated by asking 632 Americans (55% female) to rate their general happiness, report their annual income, and estimate how much they spent on bills/expenses, donate for charity, gifts for others, etc. The first two categories are summarized to create index of personal spending. And the other two are summarized to create index of pro-social spending. Then these two indexes are statistically tested. Using the regression analysis, this research revealed that the personal spending was unrelated with happiness. Statistically speaking, it was not significant. On the contrary, pro-social spending was related with happiness.

Another research taken by Dunn, they took 45 Canadian students to rate their happiness. They were given money, at least $5 each. Of course, they got a different amount of money. They were given a directive. Some of them were told to spend money on them. And some of them were told to spend money on others. At the end of the day, they rated their happiness and the results revealed that students who spent money on others experienced more happiness than some other students.

Conclusion of the research, people who spend more money on others experienced greater happiness than people who spend more money on themselves. Further result, the amount of money we make has nothing to do with our happiness. But the amount of money we make has something to do with the way we spend our money.

Final decision, I deserve well-paid company for I have already known my way of spending money. I am going to spend more money on others. Yeah, I will! It will be my happiness. No, it is my dream!

Still, I can't answer the question. Can money buy happiness?

(reference: Dunn, E. Spending Money on Others Promotes Happiness. Univ of British Columbia)

Letter From Lord

To: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: GOD
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE

This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day.
I love you.

P.S. And, remember...
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.

Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.

If you find yourself stuck in traffic, don't despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.

Should you have a bad day at work; think of the man who has been out of work for years.

Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.

Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.

Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.

Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.

Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them!

Should you decide to remind a friend about this; Thank you. You may have touched their life in ways you will never know!
Now, you have a nice day.

At the final analysis:

Lord has seen you struggling,

He say it's over.

A blessing is coming your way.

Angkuh ku

Jiwa-jiwa merintih..
tertatih, terkekang, terhimpit bahkan terjatuh.
Mereka meringkuk di sudut sempit nurani..
Berteriak-teriak mencari sosok berhati.


Jeritannya mengusikku..
namun kutolak, palingkan wajah
Tak menatap potret jiwa yang asing..
kucoba tenggelam dalam logika agungku


Ku dengar samar..
ia berontak tegas!
melawan yang kusebut takdir


Ku dengar samar..
ia bertarung!
menjawab tantangan hidup


Sesaat.. aku terhenyak..
terkagum pada jiwa yang terabaikan


Jeritannya menyibak jubah kemanusiaan ku,
meruntuhkan angkuh tahta diri ku
Gigihnya merengkuh sehelai napas,
ajarkan ku memberi arti berbeda bagi hidup


the AtMoSpHeRe
Bandung, 18August2006

I got the bricks.

I just feel that I am the boy who wrote the letter right now. Thanks for the brick, God! I am fixing myself from now on.

Waiting For The Brick?!!

I just read this story and found it really inspiring. It is kind of suitable for my situation (or perhaps, yours?). Check it out!!

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and drove the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car, shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?" The young boy was apologetic. "Please mister ... please, I'm sorry... I didn't know what else to do," he pleaded. “I threw the brick because no one else would stop..."

With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."

Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me." Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out his fancy handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay.

"Thank you and May God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger.
Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the little boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home. It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!

God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us.

Fellow readers, I don’t know whether you are being thrown bricks for darting or not. But we do, sometimes. We start ignoring people around us while we are enjoying pursuit of our dreams. Perhaps, we are too busy cope problems. But, is it wrong if I am getting my dreams, even though I have to ignore others? Since, if I fail, I will not get life that I always wanted. I don’t know. It is just frantically post.

It's our choice: Listen to the whisper ... or wait for the brick!

Not to me, but For Me

Have you ever felt like you have tried the best and you don’t succeed? I am really sure that you know that kind of feeling. Under such condition, most of people usually start to look for something/someone to blame. It is pathetic.

Let‘s say, I have been in that situation. For example, my team had been making all efforts to be in a final basketball championship. And, we just ended up with no title at all. I just feel that it is unfair. I believe that you ever experienced it, too.

When I discussed this topic to a friend of mine, I got many point of views. Some of them said, ”We just can’t win all.” I think that this is just their rationalization or just a replacement which would make them feel better. But, sometimes, it does help, by the way.

But, point of view I like most is what my friend, Arlo, said to me. “Nothing ever happened to you, but everything did happen for you.” Actually, I am little bit confused with this quotes, at first. But it is getting clearer when Arlo gave me an illustration.

Simply said, we planned before we were going to do something. And most of them, sometimes, weren’t going as planned. Often, we are getting upset or disappointed. But, something we really don’t know is there’s always a bright side for us right there.

Let’s back to my problem up there! My team might not get a chance to play in basketball championship game, in order to remind us that there are so many things needed to be repaired, internally. Therefore, we have a chance to reflect and rebuild our ‘soul’ in the team. We might think that everything is okay, if we wouldn’t have lost.

That is what I am talking about. Final championship didn’t happen to us, but the lost did happen for us. At the end, I want to say “Cheer up. Thing may go unplanned, but something good for us do happen eventually”. Then, what to worry? You tell me.

Intermezzo Saat PPAB

Lagi ngebuka2 folder foto-foto, trus tiba sampai di gambar ini langsung keingat masa-masa indah PPAB.. Emang sesuatu yang indah untuk dikenang,,,

Ada pelantikan yang hampir batal gara2 hujan..
Ada Kico yang suru push-up anak orang abis bangun pagi..
Ada macem2lah..

Tapi yang paling ultimate, salah satunya ini..


RIKO lagi menakuti anjing2 ini dengan matanya... hahaha..

Things in My Life and How I React

A family was having breakfast in a sunny morning. This family consists of a father, a mother, a boy and a little girl. Suddenly, the little girl named Floe spilled a cup of tea on to her father’s shirt. Her Father was so angry at her. He scolded her,”I am going to have an important meeting today. And I am in a rush. I have to perform well and you have just ruined everything!!!” He was yelling at his daughter for 15 minutes. Since then, he was in a bad mood.

Then, he changed his shirt in hurry and came late to the meeting. At the meeting, he realized that he forgot to bring his files which is needed for the meeting. He left his files on the bed when he changed his attire in hurry. He was getting a notification letter from his boss because of being reckless. He became so angry and so upset. And then, he left the meeting room emotionally. When lunch time came, he suddenly realized that he also forgot to bring his wallet. It left in his this-morning-trousers’ pocket. He couldn’t buy any food to eat. He was getting more upset. He couldn’t think clearly right now. When he was on the way home, he’s so emotional. So, he drove his car very careless and he hit a woman.

On the other side, Floe was very depressed because of the incident. She felt like the guiltiest one. Then, those feeling make her get sick. And, certainly, this would be another bad news for her father.

What things can be inferred? Why did his father play a worst part of life that day? Do you think it is because of the spilled-tea on his shirt? I don’t think so.

I think it is because of the father’s reaction towards the things happened. What if he calmed himself and tried not to get upset? What if he said,” It is okay, Floe! You didn’t do that on purpose. Don’t cry. I just need to change my clothes and everything will be fine.”? What do you think would happen? The father wouldn’t have been late since he didn’t waste his time scolding his daughter. And he wouldn’t have left his files and wallet. So, he wouldn’t have either missed his lunch or got a notification letter. Further, he wouldn’t have hit a woman since he would have been driving home safely.

So, what is the point? The point is that our life mostly are not influenced by bad things happened but are really influenced by our reaction towards them. Most of the time, we choose to get angry, to feel disappointed, and, eventually, to make the wrong decision. Then, we will get the impact of our reaction, either bad result or good one. If the result is bad, we will start to complain and blame the events. We forgot the “our reaction” part. Perhaps, blaming something or someone could make everything become so easy for us. I just don’t know.

I was thinking about everything happened in life. Then, I came up with questions.

How much do they contribute to what I am right now?

Or what will I become when they did not happen?

I had no answer for those. Not until I read this. At least, I have something to say if I have to answer those questions.

Simply said, all things happened in my life contribute 10% and my reactions towards them contribute 90%. So, what action is going through your head, then?

See you at the top!