Learning of Relationship

I know that Valentine is over. But it doesn’t stop me to write about relationship. Okay, I’m not that old or full of relationship experiences, I just want to share what I learned. That’s all. Before we proceed, I probably need to define what I mean with relationship here. I’m not only talking about you and your girlfriend. It could be you and your family, you and your friend, etc. Okay! I think I already covered all disclaimers.

1. Relationship is just like having a car. When you decided to buy it, you’ve got responsibility to take care of it.
This is rule number one. If you’ve got your hands full of something else, then don’t buy it. You will make it into untreated. Taking care means you have to spare sometime to talk to them, you have to spare some resources you have to help them (sometimes). So if you don’t want to do those things, forget about relationship. You’re not ready yet.

2. You can’t make someone love you. What you only can do is to be someone who can be loved. The rest of it is up to them.
It’s logic. You can control your behavior, your attitude, yourself. While you can’t control someone’s. Don’t bother with the result! When you did your best, your part is done. The rest is only a matter of someone’s choices.

3. Just because they don’t love you the way you want to be loved doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all of their heart.
The point is different head leads to different way. You can’t force people to do something like the way you do it. I got example for this. You like them to be beside you every time. But in fact, they can really care about you although they’re not beside you every time. So don’t get in to fight when you found the incompatibility. What counts in a relationship isn’t how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility.

4. Assumption is the termite of any relationship.
Stop saying “I thought you will be home late.” “I thought you will know what I want”. “I thought…” Wow, you didn’t expect your partner‘s paranormal, did you? If it comes to hesitation, then you ask them. Don’t guess, but test.

5. Relationship is not about love but to love.
Love’s often associated as noun instead of verb. People focus on the result of loving, such as marriage. Whilst, the success of love is in ‘loving’ not in the result of it. This point is a bit similar with point number 1 except this point emphasize on verb; as in to love.

6. A relationship should consist of good forgivers.
Human errs. Being a good forgiver will keep the relationship last longer. So then you won’t waste your time fighting the small things.

That’s all I got. That’s what I learned from the past 2 years. I know 2 years won’t be adequate to be an expertise of relationship. But I believe it’ll help someone out there somehow. You can agree or disagree. It doesn’t matter. The goal of this posting is just like relationship; it isn’t to think alike but to think together. So, you’re more than welcome to share yours.

See you at the top, fellow!

Adolf, Benn